Its very hard for me to say. This is the main thing that frustrates partners of people with AS. And I don't like him.' We also welcome people with other autism spectrum disorders. I can't be sure how he truly feels, and I often wonder if he is just enjoying time with me for sex and nothing more. And my new psychologist is saying I may have mild aspergers. She tried to get back with me, but I decided I didn't want to try again. “Why do aspies have difficulty with love? We’re all different. It's all very confusing, ordinarily I'd just dismiss what was said but because he has Asperger's I can't help but wonder if there is some truth in it, as I can see no payoff for him saying something like that. The wikipedia article then goes on to propose some theories about the function of stimming and how it is designed to provide nervous system arousal. Asperger’s people do show and feel remorse whereas people with APD do not. So I have tried to say it more often, because I know they need to hear the words to feel loved. They Will Understand Your Need to Be Alone. It breaks my heart that my aspie boyfriend will never tell me he loves me. Part of the problem is that most of the data comes from male subjects and thus may bias diagnoses, such that Asperger… If you ask people whether they want the last potato and everyone says ‘no, that’s fine’, it’s ‘Your Fault’ … Just repeating it all the time seems to dilute the message. But you’re right that many Aspies do have those problems. Speaking for myself here, but maybe this will help. The most commonly cited form of stimming is body rocking. This group is for individuals who have Asperger Syndrome as well as family and friends who know someone with Asperger Syndrome. Don’t put the blame solely on your partner. Our concept of time is also extremely different and, for me, it can feel like an eternity waiting to see him next. People with Asperger's commonly suffer from low self esteem. I am wondering if his adult children and ex wife know about it... Now when we stated we are not working together as he was making me unhappy and my clear emotional disappointment was making him unhappy as a result Left us in this swing for long enough to feel frustrated and powerless. We're really weird about expressing emotions sometimes. In my case my significant other's bewilderment about what "love" is has been intensified by the fact that I am much older than he is, so I don't fit the script for a conventionally appropriate partner in a love affair or relationship. Just wanted to share how it is from the other side. That could lead to a potentially awkward situation. I realize this was an old post but what you wrote about what love was struck me and I have to comment... because I know exactly what you are talking about and I'm an NT. Aspies are often their own worst enemy. Such is the prevalence of this form of stimming in Hollywood films concerning autism that you could be forgiven for thinking that autistic people stim by rocking most of the time. But maybe to an NT it's the same as saying hi how are you, good fine great bye. People with Asperger profiles absolutely do have feelings, although they may have difficulty identifying and discussing them. If you want him to respond" I love you too" every time you say "I love you" to indicate he loves you, just mention it calmly but clearly and don't assume he gets your hints. Once they’re in a relationship, many people with Asperger’s / autism will remain faithful to that relationship and not fall out of love easily. This comment has been removed by the author. In my closest friendships, my friends have often told me that they didn't realize the depth of my care/love for them simply because I have rarely spoken it out loud. It would explain alot I guess. 15 Jan 2008, 4:45 pm Was thinking about stimming today and I had a thought. If all aspies were completely alike and predictible, they'd be a stereotype but they're not. Even if you have nothing more to say, this really helps me and makes me feel connected to you.". Chandler was diagnosed with Asperger’s when he was 23 and he now uses his platform to raise awareness and to talk about all the different ways being on … Here's a phrase that I've seen repeated throughout the comments on this blog on several occasions; "I know that he won't miss me when I'm gone because he's aspie" Today, we're going to (try to) bust that myth; Individuals I'll start off with a reminder that everyone is an individual. Consider this: almost every couple I know say "I love you" and repeat the phrase back as a matter of route. Me saying "I love you" often to him is an expression of my love for him. Whatever you call the condition, Asperger’s syndrome has a profound impact on all areas of life, including love relationships. Disclaimers: This list of famous … Individuals with Asperger’s are rarely deceitful, in fact, they are often considered excessively, even naively honest, quite unlike those with APD who are predictably deceitful and unremorseful, and unlike people with Asperger’s they are incapable of feeling genuine love. And part of being social means being civil to … But yes it's very likely he does in fact love you as you suspect and for some reason unrelated to the emotion he has trouble telling you. So very helpful to me a NT, to understand my boyfriend, who has all the key signs of Aspergers. A Woman Married To A Husband With Asperger's Syndrome Reveals Their Struggle To Identify What ... 8 Signs The Person You Love Is On The ... a hug when I cry, and saying “I love you.” The subjects of not telling the truth or being honest with one's self has been one of many facets in understanding my Aspie partner that I have found to be challenging. Being antisocial is a choice. Expressing your love to someone with Asperger’s requires empathy, strong communications skills and the willingness to enter that person's world. He was blaming on us being in different stages of life ( I am16years younger and have 2 boys<10) but it is not only that but the most important part was to my understanding his condition. https://www.verywellhealth.com/does-asperger-syndrome-still-exist-259944 I prefer to express my emotions at times when I feel most able to fully experience them. When he doesn't reciprocate, it doesn't bother me at all. I haven't felt it like I have felt 'happy', 'sad', etc. Saying "I love you" and showing physical attention?” Many of us don’t. reading the same book many times) are less obvious than those associated with male Asperger's (ex. I hate doing it back even though I mean it because it just seems like something to tack onto the end of a message/sentence sometimes. There are several reasons for the apparent discrepancy, including that the obsessions associated with female Asperger's (ex. Love should be experienced fully. I keep too many feelings to myself, he can say thoughtless things with a straight face. Even though loving her may be sincere, at that moment saying it back is not sincere, therefore it's harder to say It back then to say It first. My brain isn’t wired to focus on people’s voices; in fact, I have to work very hard … I suspect myself to have aspergers. As discussed in earlier posts, this low self esteem often results from years of emotional turmoil resulting from their poor social skills. I suppose I SHOULD NOT stop saying it. It's certainly a pretty ephemeral concept for me. learning everything about World War I airplane engines), and many ASD traits (e.g. Say something like, "I really appreciate when you respond to my 'I love you' texts with a heart emoji because that really shows me that you love me back. Liked her a lot though. In part one, we looked at the role that Change Resistance plays in causing aspies to suddenly go "cold" in otherwise good relationships. He consoled me and said i love you back.I get fixated with my music and storywriting, he gets fixated with video games and making money. Falling in love appears to be the easy part as the main challenge comes when there is a need to make the love work and last, something that is a huge challenge for everyone, both for males and females and whether or not you suffer from Asperger’s Syndrome or … He sleeps with his back to you. Guy: [Gives flimsy hug] Girl: “Why … “I know Mark,' I reply. ' Nor do I have any practical advice beyond the general of what eveyone has already posted. Honestly, I don't know what to say to you. This often causes them to invent problems and to imagine replies. If you want him to respond" I love you too" every time you say "I love you" to indicate he loves you, just mention it calmly but clearly and don't assume he gets your hints. 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