It makes sense – each relationship meets different needs and is uniquely personal. As a Mom and PTO President, I am concerned about how the students from his class with handle the news. That is how we deal with grief best; by talking and laughing about the person we've lost, by celebrating their life and how much they meant to us and keeping their spirit alive in our collective consciousness. There are some strategies that can be helpful in supporting bereaved students. This one is tricky, and if your students are mature enough, it’s a good idea to let them help make the decision. I still remember exactly where I was when I heard the news. In recent years a number of students and members of staff at my school have lost a parent, sometimes through sudden tragedy, sometimes after a long fought battle with illness. We are on break now and won't return to school for another week. Leaving the deceased student’s seat empty is hard because it’s a constant reminder that the student is gone. It is equally important to say: "It's ok to cry" as "Its ok not to." 3–5, Losing someone you love is perhaps the toughest life lesson of all. Never assume that anybody is okay; sometimes the people who seem to be handling things the best are actually hurting the most. A: The goal is to help teachers feel more comfortable with the topic and equip them with basic knowledge to provide support, not counseling, to grieving students. How do you be vulnerable and show your emotions to your students, yet still be strong for them? Discuss ways to start a conversation and helpful things kids can say to a grieving classmate — and what not to say. You should also be sure to keep a close eye on your students even once things have returned to normal. Students are likely to realize that this doesn’t seem authentic. This has major implications for learning, as grief can mean academic, behavioral, and social issues. Do not force students to share their feelings with others, including their peers if they do not feel comfortable. Normalize expressed feelings by telling students such are common after a death. From the initial shock, the supremely emotional funeral, a memorial ceremony at school and ongoing contact with her parents, we did our utmost to hold people together. That was an extreme example but across the country schools will be dealing with sudden tragic loss every week. If you succeed in handling this situation well, you will be giving your students strategies they need to cope with difficult times for years to come. Tom Sherrington offers a personal insight on how to cope ABCs of Healthy Grieving By Harold Ivan Smith (2014). Encourage students to seek support for a friend in need. School-Based Mental Health Advocacy Day in Missouri! Establish ongoing communication to make sure a child is coping and to share strategies that are working at home or at school. It was incredibly traumatic for all concerned. Do not penalize these students; give them grace and time to make up any work they missed. Feelings and behaviors will vary across students and will change throughout the bereavement process. Clinging to caregivers or other trusted adults, Regressive behaviors such as wetting pants and thumb sucking. Grief is deeply personal and children and adults need to be able to handle things their own way. I've often thought that we are at our best when our schools show that they are not just a place of work or of learning; schools are the focal point of their community, and even serve as an extended family for many people. A: The goal of discipline is to teach positive behavior rather than to punish misbehavior. Hearing the news that a student in your classroom has passed away is terrifying and soul crushing. 1–2, doi:10.1007/s40688-014-0018-6, Dogan-Ates, A. The Coalition for Grieving Students also offers many helpful resources, including tips on what to say and what not to say. How Field Supervisors Can Encourage Advocacy Efforts Among Interns, Suicide Prevention within COVID 19 Pandemic, COVID-19 School Psychologist Practice Impact Survey, National and State School Psychology Association Membership Amidst a Global Pandemic, Secretary DeVos issues Waiver Requests to Congress, Senate Passes COVID-19 Education Stimulus Fund, Developing Relationships: Friend, Foe, or It’s Complicated, Vision 2020 - Advocacy in Action at Convention, Applications Open for FY 2019 STOP School Violence Grants, NASP Priorities Funded in FY 2020 Spending Bills, Nevada Finds its Advocacy Focus for SPAW 2019, What is Your Focus? One of the life lessons Randy teaches in the book is “When there’s an elephant in the room, introduce it.” When he delivered his last lecture on stage, he introduced the elephant right away: the fact that he had tumors and that he was dying of cancer. Keep a close eye on all your students and be prepared to offer them extra support or refer them to the guidance counselor if you notice any students really struggling. Hopefully, your school has made the guidance counselors available all day (and for many days after) to be there for students; they may have even called in some extra help. The Great Divide - Reaching Across the Aisle, NASP Releases Federal Policy Platform for 116th Congress, The Impact of 2018 Midterm Elections on the Future of Education, Achieving Funding Equity through State Funding Formulas. You may also wonder how to handle practical matters or how to remember your pet. For children with developmental disabilities. 3 0 obj Students in their mid-to-late teens tend to feel more comfortable expressing their feelings and grief similar to adults. Some may prefer writing, drawing, listening to music, or playing a game instead of talking about their feelings. Some need a good cry every so often and the space and time for that to happen. Talk to the bereaved student’s classmates about grief and emphasize the importance of being understanding and sensitive. It might be hard to bring it up and talk about it, but if you don’t, there’s a tension in the air that can make things even more difficult. The Notorious RBG, a Pandemic, and an Election. Not for me, and not for those kids.

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